Piesm

The Pie is a infinitely tasty pastry who lives the depths of Space. It created the Universe so it had a battleground to battle with the evil Anti Pie, for only the destruction of the Anti Pie can bring an enlightenment of taste to humanity.

The JoJo is the Pie human form, who is a rich young Englishman who lives a mansion shaped like a Pie. He has conducted miracles including building a 4 foot Lego Yoda out of three Lego bricks, turning Tesco value coke into Coca Cola with lime and bringing a dead Lobster back to life. He has managed to convert over 90% of the peasants on his land to Pieism. The JoJo enjoys drinking tea, eating crumpets, and having an affair with the Queen in his spare time. Some non-piests believe that the JoJo is a religious zealot and is therefore a member of the galactic aliens that follow Spode.

The Fore-fathers
Tabby Fat is a hugely fat cat<>minion second in command. He feasts upon those who do not follow the ways of the Pie, beware his massive gob! A restraining order was put upon him to stop him attempting to eat the lower god Cheese. He is engaged to the god Sally Squid; however he cannot stop her sleeping with everyone else!

The Lobster is large, black, crustacean who likes nothing better than making war against the Anti Pie with his loyal army of Black Lobsters. In their spare time, Black Lobsters hunt down and chuck the following types of people into space:

• Traitors to the Pie

• Terroists and Paedophiles

• Republicans

• Fat People

Only one person has ever survived an attempt by a Lobster to chuck them into space, the Bodyguard. When the Bodyguard turned to the side of the Anti Pie (for a short time only) a Black Lobster caught him and tried to chuck him into space. However, the Bodyguard was so powerful that he resisted the throw and went up just two metres, then fell back down and falcon punched the poor Lobster!

Anti-Piests

The Anti Pie is the master of the forces of evil, which wish to tear down the Pie and drink it’s gravy. The Anti Pie’s hobbies include:

• Stealing candy from children

• Funding terrorist groups

• Voting Republican

• Making Sonic the Hedgehog games

Courtesy of the Uncyclopedia.
Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Pieism. We are sorry they are blatantly retarded.